Looking in the Mirror: Conditional Self-worth, Perfectionism, Difficulties with Negative Feedback

     Conditional self-worth is associated with psychological distress, while unconditional self-acceptance fosters personal adjustment and well-being. People with extremely high self-esteem are considered vulnerable because they're often characterized by conditional self-acceptance dependent on external evaluations and comparisons to others. 

     Perfectionists find it difficult to unconditionally accept themselves and are preoccupied with obtaining approval and avoiding disapproval from others. Inability to unconditionally accept the self sometimes extends to an inability to accept others.  

     A 2001 study showed that "low levels of unconditional self-acceptance were associated with low self-esteem and elevated levels of self-esteem lability and proneness to depression. ... students with higher levels of unconditional self-acceptance ... were less reactive to negative feedback about their performance ... and tended to be more objective in their personal performance evaluations."

      Three dimensions of perfectionism include: 

          • self-oriented perfectionism - striving for personal standards of perfection;  

          • other-oriented perfectionism - a focus on the capabilities of others. ... associated with hostility and tending to direct blame or punishment toward others, rather than negative self-judgments;  

          • socially prescribed perfectionism - the perception that others have unrealistic standards and perfectionistic motives for one’s own behaviors, and that others will only be satisfied when these standards are attained; related to fear of negative social evaluation, belief in the external control of reinforcement, and need for the approval of others; associated with a wide variety of psychological problems including depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies, and personality disorders.

       All three have been shown to be linked with low unconditional self-acceptance. Studies consistently show that "low general self-esteem is associated with the perception that unrealistic standards are being imposed on the self."  Also, a contingent sense of self-worth is the antithesis of unconditional self-acceptance.

     This paper concludes that "it is important to foster a greater sense of unconditional self-acceptance among perfectionists, either through preventive efforts or treatment interventions, so that this may serve as a source of resiliency when impossible standards are not attained." 

       Flett GL, Besser A, Davis RA, Hewitt PL. Dimensions of Perfectionism, Unconditional Self-Acceptance, and Depression. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive Behavior Therapy 2003; 21(2): 119-138. 

     A key component of mindfulness training is unconditional self-acceptance.

See also: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/01/271-perfectionism-negative-and-positive.html

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