A Safe, Holding Environment

     "In psychotherapy, the holding environment comprises the trusting, secure, empathic milieu created by the caring therapist. An indirect benefit of these techniques is the capacity to create a nurturing safe space in any relational context: with a mentor, in a conversation with a dear friend, or in a beautiful natural setting. When we are in a holding environment, we feel alive, connected, and relaxed. 
     ... meditators (are encouraged) to cultivate an internal holding environment that results in an attitude of relaxed curiosity and exploration toward their meditation practice, leading to greater success and staying power."

       Bill Morgan. "The Meditator's Dilemma: An Innovative Approach to Overcoming Obstacles and Revitalizing Your Practice." Shambhala, 2016.

How About Now? Just This!

Questionner : That moment when I get out of bed, something shifts. While walking, I notice I’m not really walking, I’m kind of going somewhere. There’s a pushing in the solar plexus – rib cage.

Rupert Spira : Yes, a straining at the now. Like a horse just pulling. The exploration we did yesterday hearing a sound at a distance and slightly straining to go out towards it, and then taking our stand as awareness and allowing the object to come to us. You can do that while walking. You feel this straining at the now. Even when you’re walking in nature, you feel you’re always becoming. You’re always just outside the now, or just straining at the now to become the next moment.
     You can experiment with this while you’re walking. Just walk and feel this. Feel what it’s like to be totally, 100% in the now, with no sense of grasping for the next moment, of needing the next moment to replace the current one. Feel the quality of walking, how it changes. 
     Sometimes literally you may slow down, but even if there’s no slowing down, there’s a kind of relaxation of a very slight tension in the body. That tension is the separate self - this subtle rejection of the now – straining on the edge of the now, wanting it to become the next now. In other words we live in becoming rather than being. And this becoming can be very subtle. Just this straining at the edge of the now, wanting it to become the next moment.

Questionner : I also notice when I’m cleaning my teeth – I want to be somewhere else.

Rupert Spira : Awareness is never straining at the now. Awareness is just a wide open ‘yes’ to the now. Totally lazy. Not the slightest impulse to avoid the now. It’s only the ‘I-the-thought-&-feeling-made-self’ that is pushing at the now, wanting it to become the next moment. The separate self lives on the edge of the now – in that becoming, right on the edge of the now, wanting the next now to happen. That is the separate self. That’s all it’s made out of. It’s mad. And we spend our lives there – in that becoming, in a state of perpetual becoming. We never become what we want to become. It’s always just more becoming. 
     What we want to become is the being that is already there. Yes, it’s really mad. What we are straining towards is what is already present prior to the straining, in this just being present, which is what awareness is, being present, being present, open, aware.

Above transcribed from Rupert Spira's video below:

 

Terror Management Theory Overview

     Terror management theory (TMT) proposes that the ubiquitous need for meaning and self-esteem — arises, "in part in an effort to secure oneself psychologically from concerns stemming from the awareness of mortality.

     The theory proposes that a potential for anxiety results from the juxtaposition of death awareness — presumably a uniquely human capacity made possible by cognitive abilities such as self-awareness and abstract thought — and the instinct for self-preservation, which is common to all animals. To defend against this potential death anxiety, people must believe that some valued aspect of themselves will continue, either literally or symbolically, after cessation of their biological body. Literal immortality takes the form of an afterlife (eg heaven), whereas symbolic immortality takes the form of extensions of the self (eg children, achievements) continuing to exist after the person’s biological death.

     Whether literal or symbolic, this cultural anxiety buffer consists of two components: (a) belief in the validity of a cultural worldview and the standards and values associated with that worldview and (b) belief that one is meeting or exceeding those standards and values, that is, self-esteem.

     Thus, a cultural worldview 'is more than merely an outlook on life: it is an immortality formula.'

     Part of the value of TMT is its examination of a process that is outside of conscious awareness and thereby not particularly obvious to people employing the proposed defenses. According to the theory, the problem of death resides beneath consciousness and, from there, triggers distal death defenses — the maintenance of worldviews and self-esteem. The conscious contemplation of death is defended against differently according to TMT; it is dealt with more rationally by denying vulnerability to physical death or pushing it into the distant future using proximal death defenses such as a conscious thought about one’s excellent state of physical health or one’s family trend toward longevity.

     By providing an explanation for why people invest so heavily in their belief systems and why people need to feel valued, TMT offers insight into a broad array of human behaviors. Of particular import has been using TMT to examine the omnipresent nature of intergroup conflict. Given a fundamental human motive to secure oneself from death, TMT postulates that problems will typically arise when differences between people are perceived as challenges to one’s beliefs and sense of value — the distal death defenses. 

     Recently, two different reviews of TMT have highlighted its relevance for peace processes and its implications for understanding prejudice, intergroup conflict, and political attitudes. TMT can help explain why peace work is hampered particularly in the context of war and life-threatening violence as it suggests that our most vile attitudes and actions toward other groups stem from a fear of death that we cannot fully cope with or comprehend."

       Burke BL, Martens A, Faucher EH. "Two Decades of Terror Management Theory: A Meta-Analysis of Mortality Salience Research." Personality and Social Psychology Review 2010; 14(2): 155–195.

 
     A more evolved level of consciousness is imminent: 
http://jglovas.wix.com/awarenessnow#!No-Problem/c17jj/571f68f80cf2d19e296f9d6c

Tea Break by Don Pentz   www.fogforestgallery.ca

Finding Meaning in "Doing Nothing"

     "When was the last time you let yourself be bored? Not in a 'the repeat of this home renovation TV show is really boooorrrring' way, but in an 'I'm just going to sit here and stare out the window' way? Sometimes our lives are so busy, it feels like there's no space for daydreaming, or for the kind of thinking that's not focused on a task.
     It's not just the demands of jobs, chores, and socializing that crowd up our lives. It's the way many of us - myself included - fill up our time with stimulation: window shopping, streaming the latest 'must-see' tv, trawling our Instagram feed. Even standing at a stop light is an opportunity to pull out the phone and Fill. Up. The. Empty. Space.

     In her new book, with the tongue-in-cheek title, 'How to be Bored,' Eva Hoffman argues that our constant level of activity has real consequences.
     'We can become very disoriented as we move from one activity to another. We become emotionally depleted, paradoxically. We begin to experience not more but less,' she argues. 'We begin to lose our ability to savour experience, to make sense of it, to experience our experience.'
     The key to combating that disorientation is downtime. Leisure. 'We need time for reflection, for introspection, for the cultivation of self-knowledge,' she says. Without that time, 'we can lose sight of what our preferences are, what our desires are, but also what our values are.' "

Eva Hoffman, author of the book "How to be Bored" interviewed by Nora Young on CBC Radio's "The Spark": 

http://www.cbc.ca/radio/spark/318-embracing-boredom-digital-hoarding-quantum-computing-and-more-1.3540692/finding-meaning-in-doing-nothing-1.3548662

A Garden in Giverny by Michael Khoury    www.fogforestgallery.ca

Mindfulness - a Key Common Factor of Psychotherapies

     "Mindfulness means significantly more than simply paying attention or attention without distraction. A defining characteristic of the quiet attention of mindfulness is its essential quality of nonattachment to any particular view. The psychological freedom with which this attention is associated is not simply a freedom from the views of others (eg family, peers, culture, or government authority). Rather, it is an emancipation from one's own habitual view of self and the world. As J. Krishnamurti, a noted teacher of Eastern psychology to the West, has observed, "Freedom lies ... in understanding what you are from moment to moment", and involves a disciplined, quiet mind.

     Such emancipation could be viewed as a cornerstone of successful therapy from many schools. It provides the capacity to look freshly at one's psychological schemata of self and other. It also is receptive to new information, and thus, is able to conceive and explore alternatives."

 

       Martin J. "Mindfulness: A proposed common factor." Journal of Psychotherapy Integration 1997; 7: 291–312.

Meditation, Disidentification & Mental Health

     "Refinement of awareness may be a central process mediating the therapeutic benefits both of meditations and of psychotherapies and may also be a necessary precondition for a further important meditative process: disidentification.
      Disidentification is the process by which awareness (mindfulness) precisely observes, and therefore ceases to identify with, mental content such as thoughts, feelings, and images.  
     This process is similar to Piaget’s 'decentration,' Safran’s 'decentering,' Bohart’s 'detachment,' Deikman’s 'observing self,' Tart’s 'dehypnosis,' Teasdale’s 'metacognitive awareness,' Wilber’s 'differentiation & transcendence,' and Kegan’s 'de-embedding.' Robert Kegan suggested that the process of disidentification 'is the most powerful way I know to conceptualize the growth of the mind . . . [and] is as faithful to the self-psychology of the West as to the ‘wisdom literature’ of the East.' 
     Consider, as a practical example, the thought 'I’m scared.' Meditators report that if they are clearly aware of such a thought, then they do not identify with it (assume it to be a valid statement about themselves). Rather, they simply observe it, recognize it as merely a thought, and are unaffected by it."

       Walsh R, Shapiro SL. "The Meeting of Meditative Disciplines and Western Psychology. A Mutually Enriching Dialogue." American Psychologist 2006; 61(3): 227–39. 

 

Meaning & Depth in our age of Multiculturalism & Religious Pluralism

     “The normal adjustment of the average, common-sense, well-adjusted man implies a continued successful rejection of much of the depths of human nature.”                           Abraham Maslow


     “The words ‘many are called, but few are chosen’ are singularly appropriate here, for the development of personality from the germ-state to full consciousness is at once a charisma and a curse, because its first fruit is the conscious and unavoidable segregation of the single individual from the undifferentiated and unconscious herd.”                          Carl Jung

     Multiculturalism & "religious pluralism … is a fact of our common life. It has become all the more essential to honor these realities by understanding faith in its broadest, most inclusive form as the activity of making meaning that all human beings share."

       Parks SD. “Big questions, worthy dreams. Mentoring young adults in their search for meaning, purpose, and faith.” John Wiley & Sons, San Francisco, 2000.