Basic, Core, Resilience, Stress Management, Mindfulness

      What do you experience when stressed-out? An increase in the amount & intensity of self-talk? Accompanied by feeling thoroughly disturbed - your whole world is shaky? You feel all beat up - your head, neck, chest, gut, shoulders & back are tense, stiff, closed off and sore?
     What, in contrast, do you experience when you're having a wonderful time with a person or pet that you deeply love? Little or no self-talk? Stillness? You feel at peace, perhaps your chest area feels soft, open & warm?
     Under stress, most of us by default, quickly become "cognitively fused" with self-talk & it's associated disturbed emotions. We're not simply experiencing stress, we're lost in it, consumed by it - we feel as if we ARE stress itself. 
     At soon as an anxious thought / emotion arises, we do have a choice: to fall forward into an escalating whirlwind of anxious self-talk OR step back into stillness and equanimity - the wise, observer-self position. This choice is only available EARLY on, before the momentum of emotions hijacks mature judgment. We're all too familiar with falling forward into the circular, anxiety-filled stories we tell ourselves - it's very stressful & exhausting. But we're less familiar with the backward step, pulling back from this recurrent, primitive, egocentric nightmare.
     If we don't fall forward into anxiety EARLY, we can step back into the mature, evolved aspect of ourselves that remains still, wise, open-minded and open-hearted under all conditions. Here there is stillness, peace, no self-talk, and you will notice that your chest area feels soft, open & warm. This is where we observe everything and generate wise decisions that decrease our own and others' suffering, and genuinely improve quality of life.
     This early, backward step into the wisdom zone requires intentional practice, but is incredibly worthwhile. True resilience is consistently being at this level of consciousness, regardless of external circumstances. Each of us can learn to reside in this evolved state of being, more and more consistently, despite life's many challenges, through mindfulness practice.

     See also: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/08/adult-psychosocial-development.html
     and: http://www.johnlovas.com/2013/04/only-keep-heart-open-continuously.html

Photo: poppyjk   www.dpreview.com