What is Normal & Healthy?

     When we feel anxious, down, hungry, lacking, crappy, etc, we quickly do our best to feel normal, well, good or healthy again. If we're told "but that's just the way life is", we reject this, finding such sentiments defeatist, even repugnant. So most of us work hard, pretty well constantly, trying to control or optimize the infinite number & variety of externals that impact our lives. Nevertheless, we still feel anxious, down, hungry, lacking, crappy, etc. And we judge the fact that we're not consistently happy as unacceptable, even abnormal! So we have rapidly rising rates of mental illness, prescription- & illicit drug & alcohol abuse in North America. 

      The Buddha, despite being born a healthy, wealthy, intelligent, powerful prince, with everything the world could provide at his fingertips, realized that life was basically stressful, unsatisfactory and uncontrollable. 
     His concept of “dukkha (refers to) stress, suffering, misery, unsatisfactoriness, pain: literally, ‘hard to endure, difficult to bear.’
      In its limited sense, dukkha is the quality of experience that results when the mind is conditioned ... into craving, attachment, egoism, and selfishness. This feeling takes on forms such as disappointment, dissatisfaction, frustration, agitation, anguish, dis-ease, despair – from the crudest to the subtlest levels.
      In its universal sense, dukkha is the inherent condition of unsatisfactoriness, ugliness, and misery in all impermanent, conditioned things. This second fundamental characteristic is the result of anicca; impermanent things cannot satisfy our wants and desires no matter how hard we try (and cry). The inherent decay and dissolution of things is misery.”
       Buddhadasa Bhikkhu. “Mindfulness with Breathing. A Manual for Serious Beginners.” Wisdom Publications, 1988.

      So, at the very least, we might wish to consider Western psychology's well-established warnings about perfectionism: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/search?q=perfectionism
     There's much truth in JFK's famous saying: "The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities. We need men who can dream of things that never were and ask 'why not?'" 
     At the same time, it's wise to consider how minimal our individual input is, relative to the infinite variety & number of inputs that condition every event, person & thing. In other words, we have far less control over external events, including other people's behavior, than we'd like. Nor is it realistic or helpful take this personally - it's just one of the many laws of nature, like gravity, with which we must learn to work wisely. So constant dissatisfaction with the way things are, and constant striving to alter the flow of reality are futile, frustrating & self-destructive. Whereas accepting reality as it is, and ourselves as we are, is the hallmark of sanity, and the essential starting point for initiating realistic change. 
     So, when we feel anxious, down, hungry, lacking, crappy, etc, instead of our unhelpful reactivity, we might be wiser to 'lean into' and deeply investigate what's actually going on.

Studying the laws of the universe

Meditation on Gratitude

     "Both ancient teachings and modern medical research agree that one of the quickest, most direct routes to restoring harmony and balance in our lives is to foster gratitude and appreciation. The moment you shift from a mindstate of negativity or judgment to one of appreciation, there are immediate effects at many levels of your being: brain function becomes more balanced, harmonized, and supple; your heart begins to pump in a much more coherent and harmoniously balanced rhythm; and biochemical changes trigger a host of healthful balancing reactions throughout your body.
     In the healing ways of indigenous people, the restorative power of gratitude was well understood. A heart filled with gratitude generates actions and prayers that complete the circle between the gift offered to us, the receiver of the gift, and the sacred source of the gift. To offer prayers of thanksgiving is a gesture of rejoicing in discovering the many gifts that life brings us.

     Here is a practice we often teach as a way to dwell in gratitude and thanksgiving:
     Sitting quietly, shift toward dynamic balance with a few minutes of mindful breathing. Bring to mind someone or something in your life for whom you are deeply grateful.  This may be someone or something outside of you, or some inner quality, strength, or capacity that you are grateful for. As you breathe in, take this person or aspect of your life to heart. As you breath out, let your heartfelt gratitude shine deeply and brightly to them and through them, extending your love, gratitude, or blessings to them. Continue for as long as you like, letting each breath take to heart a loved one, a friend, someone who has been kind to you, someone who is teaching you patience or how to forgive, or some aspect of your life that you are grateful for.
     Allow each breath to shine from the depths of your being through the depths of their being in order to light up their life with your love, gratitude, and blessings. Taking your eyes, your ears, your hands, your intelligence to heart, bless them in a similar way with the heartfelt radiance of your appreciation. Whoever or whatever comes to mind, gather them into your heart, one at a time or all together. Taking these many gifts to heart, complete and affirm the circle with gratitude, assuring that the stream of blessings in your life and in the universe will be unbroken."

     Excerpted from Joel & Michelle Levey's books: "Wisdom at Work" and "Simple Meditation & Relaxation." www.wisdomatwork.com

Namaste