Sunday 4 January 2015

Illusion of Control & Fear

     “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”                                             Theodore Roosevelt

     Nor do people count whose 'contribution' is consistently trying to derail improvements with their cynicism - openly, or worse, behind closed doors. Such cowardice with a swagger is referred to as "the hidden curriculum" in health-care education.

     So what makes educated, accomplished adults behave like 'chicken shits'? Fear. Not just fear of what they don't know and can't control, but fear of fear itself. We naturally want to deal only with what we know well and thus can more or less control. The greater our illusion of control, the more we fear most of real life - which is far from being knowable and controllable. That's why so many health-care professionals are workaholics and will "never retire". It's failure to mature.
     Intelligent, educated adults can learn about what they fear - "leaning into the discomfort", gaining understanding and competence, becoming more balanced, and evolving as people. At some point, we all need to learn to navigate real life's constantly shifting, changing, paradoxical complexity with some semblance of grace. This is normal, healthy evolution of character / consciousness or psychosocialspiritual maturation.

       Hollis J. “Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life.” Gotham Books, NY, 2005.

       Brown B. "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead." Gotham Books, NY, 2012. http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability#t-153143


 

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